You have finally retired to bed after a tiring day as your kids are also comfortably tucked away in their beds. It’s an ideal hour to relish some intimacy with your partner. You both start to get a little passionate between the sheets.
Soon things heat up to the point where you are too engrossed to notice your child standing at your door with a baffled look on her face, “What are you doing mommy and daddy?” The voice leaves you grabbing for your clothes while you wonder ‘what’s next?’
This scenario makes a natural act of intimacy as an act of puzzle, feeling lost for the kids. It is not unusual to overcome parental guilt and despondence following such incidents but these peep shows are more common than you can think. Before you think it’s the end of the world, there are many constructive ways to handle it in the moment and its aftereffects.
Gather your Wits:
It’s easy to feel exasperated with what just happened and react on the spur of the moment but this may complicate things. Thus calm down for a moment, then collect your thoughts before talking to your child. If you were scantily clad at that moment, you can ask the kids to wait in their room till you can have a conversation with them.
Your child may be perplexed with what he/she is saying, thus having a conversation about it is vital. Don’t straight away jump into the technical explanation of sex but talk about lighter topics like intimacy, physical closeness behaviors related to sex, love.
Make them feel comfortable by initiating an easy conversation and try to answer their questions. At times talking about what happened in the moment can be something that deals with humor and facts to talk about the ghost in the closet.
Put yourself in your child’s shoes:
Remember, your child is innocent yet curious thus wants to be a part of their parents’ world. Projecting your guilt, discomfort and anger on your child isn’t the solution. Understanding how your child might be feeling at that moment in order to empathize will help you conceptualize the course of action.
A child might have a lot of curiosity, questions relating to what he saw, thus be ready for your child to bombard you with questions about the moment. Don’t avoid their questions or laugh them away even if they ask questions like “What were you doing naked?” etc. Your child might feel ashamed and frightened by the incident and will want you to handle it maturely.
It’s time for 'birds and bees' talk:
The conversation about what your child saw should be initiated by you as leaving it on your child to start with questions may lead to the matters being brushed under the carpet.
It is a must for you as a parent to remain relaxed while talking ‘sex’ with your child. Do not feel nervous during the conversation as it will only close doors for further healthy discussions around sex. Sex talks should be more normalized between parents and children. If for some reason as a parent you have concerns talking about the moment, sex or you notice an issue with your child post which, you may seek guidance from a professional. A professional who is an expert in it will be able to deal with the matter at hand in a better way as you proceed further.